Lil Peep: The Loneliness of the Short Distance Runner

21 years and 14 days.

This much was given to Gustav Elijah Åhr on this life on Earth. Tragically little time. You cannot comprehend how short, if you have not lost your child so young.

November 1, 1996 – November 15, 2017

Lil Peep had so much time to make his mark in popular music. Dramatically short period. Imagine a world where your idols got no more chance. If I write out five of Gus’s biggest influencers from pop history, you will feel some of my pain.

„David Bowie is my biggest inspiration.”

In our parallel universe David Bowie died January 23, 1968, leaving behind only one studio album that hardly suggests the genius that would unfold in the following decades. There is no Space Oddity. There is no Ziggy Stardust. There are no Diamond Dogs. No Heroes. There is no Let’s Dance. No Heathen. No Darkstar.

“The only place I have ever felt truly comfortable is on stage.”

The seventies’ music revolution came with the punk movement led by Sex Pistols, which had a massive impact on our hero. He genially rephrased the denial of social conformity voiced by Johnny Rotten. By Lil Peep timekeeping Johnny would die February 16, 1976, giving only a handful of concerts. Nothing more. There is no Anarchy in the U.K. No God Save the Queen. No Pretty Vacant. No Holidays in the Sun. There is no Never mind the bollocks.

„Call me Cobain”

The mastermind of Nirvana, who is mentioned so often in the press as the closest role-model for Lil Peep, would kill himself on March 7, 1988, in the Gus System. Kurt had just finished the first Nirvana studio session with Kirst Novoselic and Chad Channing, but would not witness the release of their first single titled Love Buzz in November. There is no Bleach. No Smells like Teen Spirit. No Come As You Are. There is no Nevermind. No MTV Unplugged. There is no Heart-Shaped Box.

„I will never give up on you
I see the real you
Even if you don’t, I do, I do”

Adam Gontier, the original singer and rhythm guitar player of Three Days Grace, would create until June 8, 1999, in the GEA Dimension. His voice and guitar playing would have been captured only on the only album titled Wave of Popular Feeling of his previous band called Groundswell. There is not a single recording of Three Days Grace. No I Hate Everything About You. No Animal I Have Become. No Pain. There is no album titled Human, no closing track called The Real You to build a song titled Witchblades.

“Frank Ocean is my musical idol.”

In the Lil Peep scenario, his mentor would have act until November 12, 2008, not even starting his recording career. We would praise him only for his early compositions. He co-wrote Justin Bieber’s first-ever song but would have not seen the release of Bigger. There would be no solo effort, no albums. There is no Thinkin Bout You. No Chanel. There would be no Blonde, which was voted to be the best album of the decade by Pitchfork.

21 years and 14 days.

Horrifyingly short time, if we evaluate it as a lifespan of a man, an artist. Even though Lil Peep was able to leave a significant mark on modern music. He was able to release only one proper studio album in his life: Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 1, but he left an extraordinary inheritance to the world. His previously released five mixtapes contained great gems, and basically, he recorded enough material for a second album before he died of a drug overdose. Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 2 was released November 9, 2018, and went #4 on the US Albums chart. Then the documentary film and a companion compilation album titled Everybody’s Everything gives even more to fans and open-minded bystanders. And there is a long list of great guest appearances that can fill a star-studded playlist.

Beyond his music and lyrics, his personality turned him into the icon of a generation. He became the voice of the bullied, the expelled, the outcasts. He explicitly rejected the abuse of women. He had respect for differences. Behind the ink spots on his face hid a sensitive young man. A man like you or me. Your daughter. My son.

„Tryna keep it cool at your grandfather’s funeral”

I do not have tattoos. I have never taken any drugs. I’m heterosexual. Despite all of our differences, I like this fella very much. He helped me to understand a lot of things I was not able to comprehend for decades. I am grateful for him to formulate many thoughts my son and his friends could not express. He gave a chance for discussion. He helped me to help. He was/is for them when we cannot be there for them, when they think we do not understand them.

„And if you ever need a friend then you got me
And in the end, when I die, would you watch me?
And if I try suicide, would you stop me?
Would you help me get a grip or would you drop me?”

(Artwork: Mester Csaba)